2-Minute Summary for Busy (Grand)parents
Missing holidays with grandchildren stings, but you can still create meaningful connections. Plan ahead—ship packages early, schedule video calls around their schedule, and send pieces of your traditions to their home. The strategies that work best: advent activities that build anticipation, participating in their celebrations via video, creating hybrid traditions that blend old and new, and giving experiences instead of just toys. Start one new tradition this holiday season. Your grandchildren will remember the grandparent who found creative ways to celebrate together, even from far away.
The holiday table has your grandchildren's names on place cards. But their chairs stay empty.
You're peeling potatoes alone while they're decorating cookies 500 miles away. Your grandson blows out birthday candles while you watch through a screen. Your granddaughter opens presents on Christmas morning, and you see her reaction three hours later.
Holidays magnify distance. Every commercial shows multigenerational families gathered around tables. You feel the absence more sharply.
But absent doesn't mean uninvolved.
Start Building Anticipation Early
The best holiday connections begin weeks before the actual day. Anticipation creates as much joy as the event itself.
Countdown Calendars (Not Just for Christmas)
Send an advent-style calendar for any holiday:
Christmas: 25 small gifts, one per day
Hanukkah: Eight envelopes, one per night
Birthday month: Daily cards counting down
Thanksgiving: Gratitude prompts they complete and photograph
Fill calendar pockets with:
Stickers and temporary tattoos
Single-serving hot chocolate packets
Small toys (bouncy balls, plastic animals)
Jokes written on paper
Photos of you at their age
Dollar store treasures
Notes with memories you share
One grandfather sends crossword puzzles he creates himself, with clues about family history.
Shipping Deadlines You Can't Miss
Destination | Holiday Arrival | Ship By (Standard) | Ship By (Priority) |
|---|---|---|---|
Same state | December 25 | December 18 | December 21 |
Cross-country | December 25 | December 15 | December 19 |
International | December 25 | December 5 | December 10 |
Birthday/Other | Actual date | 10 days before | 5 days before |
Mark these dates on your calendar now. Missing the deadline means missing the moment.
Pre-Holiday Video Calls
Two weeks before the holiday, get on video:
Read the holiday story together (same book, both reading along)
Make decorations "together" on camera
Share what you're each looking forward to
Explain traditions from your childhood
Being There When You're Not There
The actual holiday requires strategy. Their day will be chaotic. Plan around that reality.
Video Call Timing
What doesn't work: Calling during present-opening chaos or right before dinner.
What works:
Early morning, before things get hectic (6-7 AM their time)
Mid-afternoon during the natural lull (2-3 PM)
After dinner, during dessert (you eat pie "with" them)
Bedtime, when they're winding down
Ask parents the best time window. Then confirm the night before.
Making the Call Count
Don't just watch them. Participate.
For Present Opening:
Have one gift from you that they open on video with you watching
React big—your excitement matters more than the gift
Ask them to show you how it works
For Holiday Meals:
Set your place at your table with a device showing them
Eat the same menu items
Toast together
Say grace or blessings together if that's your tradition
For Birthday Celebrations:
Sing happy birthday with them (even if off-key through video)
Watch them blow out candles
Have your own cupcake with a candle
Open a small gift they picked out for you (coordinated with parents)
Traditions You Can Send in a Box
Your grandchildren can experience your holiday traditions even if you're not physically present.
Food Traditions That Travel
Ship your recipes as experiences:
Option 1: Pre-Made Send the finished cookies, bread, or candy you always make. Include the recipe card so they know this is "Grandma's famous fudge."
Option 2: DIY Kit Mail pre-measured dry ingredients in bags with your handwritten instructions. They make your recipe in their kitchen. Video call while they bake.
Option 3: Cook-Along You both have ingredients. Make the recipe together over video. They learn your technique in real-time.
Holiday Crafts and Activities
Create kits they can do while talking to you:
Ornament-making supplies
Dreidel painting kits
Easter egg decorating materials
Construction paper and scissors for paper chains
Gingerbread house kits (you each build one)
Your Actual Holiday Items
Send something from your celebration to theirs:
A branch from your Christmas tree
A candle from your menorah (they light it the same nights)
Flowers from your garden for their Easter table
Fall leaves you collected for their Thanksgiving centerpiece
Physical objects from your celebration make the distance smaller.
Holiday-Specific Ideas
Christmas and Hanukkah
Send an ornament each year with the date. They build a collection of "Grandparent ornaments"
Record yourself reading "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" or other holiday stories. Send the book and a USB drive or private YouTube link
Create a "12 Days of Christmas" where you mail 12 small items that arrive throughout December
Light Hanukkah candles "together" over video each night
Send a stocking with their name that matches yours
Thanksgiving
Create a gratitude jar. You add thankful notes to your jar, they add to theirs, and you share via photos
Send ingredients for one dish they can contribute to their dinner (your famous sweet potato casserole)
Video call during pie time, not during the chaotic dinner
Mail fall decorations you made
Easter and Passover
Send a Easter basket you filled yourself (more meaningful than store-bought)
Hide plastic eggs around your house, photograph the locations, and send them on a "virtual egg hunt"
Ship Passover seder plate items with explanations you recorded
Mail spring flower bulbs to plant together over video
Birthdays
Birthday breakfast delivery: coordinate with parents to have pancakes or donuts delivered that morning with a note from you
Birthday interview: call and ask them questions about being their new age. Record it. They'll love listening when they're older.
Birthday countdown: seven days of cards leading up to the big day
Birthday time capsule: send a box for them to fill with items from this year and store until next birthday
Gifts That Keep You Connected
The best gifts create ongoing connection, not just temporary excitement.
Experiences Over Objects
Membership to a zoo or museum (you can talk about their visits)
Subscription boxes (something arrives monthly that you discuss)
Classes they attend (art, sports, music—you ask about each session)
Magazine subscriptions (read the same issues and discuss)
Gifts That Require You
Two-player games you play together online
Books you read together (buy two copies, read chapters, discuss)
Matching craft kits (you each make the project)
Puzzle you complete together over video calls
Traditional Gifts With Your Touch
If you're buying toys or clothes:
Include a photo of you at their age with a similar item
Write a note explaining why you picked it
Create a scavenger hunt to find the gift (clues sent via text)
Record a video of yourself explaining the gift
What to Avoid
Gift cards (impersonal, zero connection value)
Gifts so numerous they get lost in the pile
Anything without a personal note
Items you didn't pick yourself (don't just hand your credit card to their parents)
Extending the Holiday Beyond One Day
The celebration doesn't end when the day ends.
Thank You Rituals
Make thank-you notes fun instead of obligatory:
Send a self-addressed stamped envelope with the gift
Include fun stationery and stickers
Offer a trade: they send a drawing, you send a drawing back
Video call thank-you instead of written (you record it)
Post-Holiday Hangout
Schedule a call for two days after the holiday:
Look at photos together
Hear about their favorite parts
Share your holiday experience
Plan for next year together
Creating a Holiday Memory Book
Keep a shared digital album for each holiday:
You add photos from your celebration
Parents add photos from theirs
Each year, look back at previous years before celebrating again
Print and bind every five years
The Day After Strategy
Text or call the day after to ask:
What was your favorite gift?
What was the best food?
What was the funniest moment?
What do you want to do differently next year?
Their answers help you plan better for next holiday.
What They'll Actually Remember
Your grandchildren won't remember:
Perfect video quality
Expensive gifts
Flawless execution
They will remember:
That you made the effort
Your voice singing Happy Birthday off-key
The cookies that arrived in the mail
The traditions you created just for them
That you showed up, even from far away
One grandmother schedules a "practice run" video call the week before every holiday. She tests her technology, confirms timing, and troubleshoots problems. When the actual holiday arrives, she's ready. Her grandchildren know she'll be there on the screen.
That consistency—that reliability—matters more than any purchased gift.
Start With This Holiday Season
You don't need to do everything on this list. Pick three things:
One thing to send (advent calendar, countdown gift, tradition in a box)
One video call (scheduled at a specific time, confirmed with parents)
One tradition to start (that you'll repeat every year)
Three things. Manageable. Meaningful.
The grandmother who sends 25 advent gifts isn't necessarily closer than the one who calls every Sunday morning and sends one thoughtful birthday box.
Consistency beats extravagance.
Connection beats perfection.
Your presence—even virtual, even mailed in an envelope—shapes their childhood. They'll talk about "what Grandma always does for Christmas" or "Grandpa's birthday countdown."
The traditions you create this year become the memories they cherish forever.
Your next holiday starts now. Make it count.